Boy oh boy it's a boy!!

So we decided to find out the baby's sex and it looks like it's going to be a boy. We're so excited! We got to see him swim around and move and the ultrasound lady was just great she even printed a photo with the caption "Hi Maddy, I Love you" for Madeleine. It feels so surreal. This is just too much to take in!! It seems more real now. At times thoughts did cross my mind wondering if the baby was still okay. I have to remember to live in today and leave the tomorrow to God!! I began feeling his kicks a couple of weeks ago. He's been pretty active, but since he's still small (I'm now 20 weeks) they are subtle kicks, but the other day I felt a strong one.

On another note, I've gone back to work and you cannot believe how crazy I felt emotionally leaving Maddy behind. I was in denial until the night before I began work. I cried tremendously! Madeleine is dealing with it much better than I am. It's probably because her father is home with her for the first five weeks. I think that works to console me seeing as she's in good hands and they get to have this special time together which I would have never agreed to had I not had to go back to work earlier. I went back 5 weeks earlier because I would like to accumulate enough hours to collect maternity and parental leave for this next one. I'm happy for the circumstance but I wasn't ready to leave my little one. I know she's only 11 months but I feel like I'm loosing her already. Her Independence is slowly increasing and she doesn't really need me like she did when she was first born. It's quite the transition. I know some mothers don't get the chance to stay so long with their child but still I want more time.

I must be honest however, I did welcome the change in activity, the break of having her 24/7 but I wouldn't trade the 24/7 to be at work!! I kinda wish I was back home by 1pm that way I get to spend most of the day with her! Anyway I am grateful for what I have period to have a child (and one in my womb) and to have a job. I'll be back home by February anyway! I'm so nervous about this next one and caring for both but I'm sure it will work out.

This pregnancy has been so much more emotional, more tiring, more nauseating. I'm still throwing up now and then. Picking up 23lbs all the time hasn't been helping my back either. Madeleine loves to be held and I just can't be picking her up as often. I have a pretty crappy back to begin with. I should definitely be doing my back exercises so that I don't have a bad back episode like I've had before. Oh well.

We've decided to name our boy Nazareth Michael. It's a name my husband has always loved "Nazareth" so Nazareth it is. I've always like the name Michael, plus I figure the archangel Michael will take care of him while on earth :)

What more can I say really? I haven't really had much urge to post. I've been tired, busy, lazy you name it i'm there. I've also been lacking patience lately. I've misplaced my wedding band, I can't find it anywhere, I refuse to say I lost it although I guess misplaced is about the same thing. I keep praying to St. Anthony to help me find it. I'd much rather loose the engagement ring the my wedding band. It has to be somewhere around the house, I took it off to put body cream on Maddy, she's got a mild case of eczema on her belly so I take it of after her bath to lather her with cream. Poor little one ends up scratching up a storm if I don't put the cream on.

This is it for me I need to get back to work but just thought I would update since I felt a slight urge and plus wanted to share the boy news.

As always praying for you!