My story (it's long)

May 2006 - we were married. so basically that's when we started trying.

Nov 2006 - spoke to my regular doctor about not being pregnant yet, and she said "give it a year you are still young". So i continued to wait. (I must add that i knew nothing about female reproductive system back then)

Jan 2007 - I bought an "ovulation kit thinking it would solve my problem

May 2007 - My doctor finally realizes that I'm anxious and sends me to an obygyn/infertility specialist "woo hoo/ YAY" finally i'm worthy of concern

June 2007- I meet Dr. L (the obygyn/infertility specialist) he's nice, i'm sort of weirded out because he's male, but quickly get over that. He sends me to do various test. ultrasounds/transvaginal sounds. the works. I must admit that i hated all theses test especially the transvaginal, it's was so invasive! but now my motto is "whatever it takes" but before i really despised them and couldn't get over all the poking around.

Aug 2007- meet with Dr. L who says i have a "chocolate cyst" that's no going away he needs to remove it, it's on my ovary, i need to have a laparascopy done.

Oct. 2 2007 i have a laparascopy surgery which i was scared to do because i've never had a surgery in my whole entire life. but it goes well (meaning i woke up from the anesthesia which was really my only fear through the surgery the "will i wake up after the anesthesia" i know it may sound silly but i was really scared.

mid - oct 2007 meet with Dr. L to discuss results of laprascopy. I have
1 -endometriosis (not sure how bad- he doesn't say, i don't know to ask) he just says he's removed as much as he could)
2-my cyst removed (yay)
3-i have fibroids all around my uterus but not inside (which is good news apperently, however i already new this going in to surgery)
4- he threw in the dye to check tubes and the dye didn't go through, not good news Dr. L says. So i ask Dr. L what i can do about the tubes he says there's not much to do when they are blocked. He says he will have to check to what degree they are blocked (procedure called tubal recanalization?) and if they are blocked really bad then i'll have no other option but IVF ...at the sound of no other option but IVF my eyes begin to water and i'm devasted and he's looking at me funny and my husband is passing me a tissue looking at me confused.
I go home crying and explaining to my husband why i'm crying, he didn't realized that as catholics IVF isn't an option. (scheduled a tubal recanalization procedure for end of november)

Still Oct 2007 - I read humanae vitae written by Pope Paul VI so that i can fully understand my faith and reasoning behind no IVF. Plus i really don't like the idea that my husband and i would not be conceiving this child in love naturally. My faith has helped me throughtout my life and this wasn't the time to set my beliefs aside.

end 0f -Nov 2007 - I miss my period...i do a test and guess what? i'm prego. YAY a miracle indeed!! and yes it still is a miracle for me to this day... no need for the tubal recannalization procedure woo hoo!!

Beginning of Dec 2007- dr. L does ultrasound to make sure it's not in the "tubes" and rules out etopic preganancy (yay)

2 weeks after date noted above (still dec 2007)
Dr. L says baby is bigger, can't find heart beat but says it's okay b/c it's too soon, schedules me for a u/s in Jan 2007.

Jan 2008 U/S, technician can't find baby, but she doesn't tell me this because she's not allowed to, the doctor is the only one that can say results (my doctor is on holidays). so as i'm laying on the u/s table getting checked she has this worried look and then sees me and just shoots me a wearied smile. then as i leave she says that she will send my stuff straight to my dr. and that i should go see him right away...i tell her he is on vaction she then looks a bit anxious goes away tells me to hold on and comes back saying that the radiologist there said it can wait till my doc comes back from holidays...she then adds...that if i were to bleed to go straight to the hospital. (in my head i yell are frkn kidding me?) my mother is with me and i try to hold back tears b/c i don't want to upset her. but i can't so i drive her home and i'm crying b/c i don't know what's wrong but i know something is and my mother is upset b/c she can't help me. (not that i expect her to be able to do anything)

next day (after u/s with bad news still in Jan 2008 )- my older brother finds out about my situation freaks out on me and tells me to go to the hospital to find out what's going on...I have absolutely no symptoms whatsoever of a misscarriage but he advises me to go to the emergency room and pretend i have bad cramps and to wait there till a doctor sees me and can give me the results. So i go and i wait 6 hours in the emergency waiting room...yes the hospitals are that bad in TO. the emergency doctor finally sees me does an U/S and says i have a Blighted Ovum or a Chemical pregnancy, he says that there was a fetus growing but that it stopped developing because it didn't have enough of something or because it just wasn't meant to be because it wouldn't have developed properly so it naturally stopped itself. I don't cry at that point because before going to the ER i google my situation and diagnosed myself with the same thing the doctor in the ER room told me...and that was because i looked at the u/s screen when the technician had a weird look in her face so i googled what the u/s should look like at my stage so i had figured it out. I did end up crying when i got to the car, well after we dropped off my mom, i didn't want her to worry.

Jan 2008 still - was told to wait till i naturally misscarried, i waited 2 weeks and nothing. (however i had no pregnancy symptoms at all either) then dr. L advised i do a D & C b/c sometimes it can take too long and it may not be good to wait too long. I was so anxious and b/c i kept thinking it may be a misdiagnosis even though i had gone to 3 different u/s to verify it. I finally decided to do the D & C b/c i was driving myself insane asking God for it to be a misdiagnosis. I was worried to that b/c i didn't miscarry naturally that i may be killing my baby. But i had to have faith in the results and that God wouldn't allow me to kill a baby, even though i knew in my heart that there was nothing alive in there, i had this wish that theres still would be, so i had to go along with the D & C.
It broke my heart to do the D & C because it's the method used to do abortions and i couldn't believe it was something i was doing. Anyway the prayers really helped me through this time and it's by the Grace of God that i made it through this difficult time.