sisters

I'm so bored at work. I think i'm going to write a post on how blessed I am to have sisters. I don't have just one, nope, God figured i'd need more and gave me 3! It's taken me some 30yrs to realize what a blessing they are! We haven't always gotten along and more often than not we argue and we fight, but by the Grace of God we are able to forgive, maybe not right away but eventually we come back together again.

I think of my daughter now and wonder if she'll ever have a sister, God gave her a little brother, maybe that's all she will need, but how great it is to have sisters. I planned my married life before I even got married. I remember talking to my then boyfriend (now husband) telling him how I wanted 5 children, I remember his response was well I was thinking 3. I then said well 8 it is i guess! He gets three and I get five. So far we've been blessed with two on earth and 2 in heaven. Boy did God ever show me His plan was different. I guess I've always thought what and how things should be in my life and really while I've had my say, I see how God has helped me to see that my way is not really the better way.

I want Maddy to have a sister, I want Nazareth to have a brother. I keep thinking how they'll really need this. How silly of me, now that i think of it, to really think that this is what will make things good for my children. I see as i face struggles in life how important my faith has been to overcome and find peace in the sufferings i have faced. This is what i need to pass to my children. I often worry i'm not being a good mother, that maybe i'm ruining her, and i say only her because she's 2 now so she understand whereas Nazareth is still too small to ruin. Wow, too small, he's almost 14 months!! Yet Madeleine was only 15 months when Nazareth was born and she seemed so big to me then and now that there isn't another baby to compare him with he seems so small! oh my madeleine forced to grow fast so i could meet the demands of the other. Oh she's fine, she's miss independent at 2, i think it's in her character to be so independent, i always heard first born's are so dependent on their parents.

Anyway my point is, i'm bored to heck at work, then thought about my sisters whom i thank God for everyday, realized how much my faith has helped me and how my children need this faith so they too can overcome obstacles and struggles. God help me, help me be a wise and loving mother, i'm so far from that right now.