The other day I was talking to my sister about how I was arguing with my H and how he drove me nuts sometimes (and vice versa of course, I'm not the victim in this marriage even though sometimes I forget this ;) )
She then started saying how we need to surrender ourselves and just before she could continue we both could not help but burst out laughing at the thought!!! I laughed so hard that I had tears in my eyes.
I am a lost cause honestly, God help me please!!!!!!!!!!!
These past few days I have realized that God has literally dragged me to be of service to others and it's not because other people need me but because I NEED IT!!!
Example: I was at a meeting with MBF.C (the fertility centre I work with) and they needed a volunteer to bring our booth to the Magnificat event that a parish was hosting. One of our napro doctor's was going to be the guest speaker so this was a perfect event to advertise the centre and Na.protech etc...Since I thought it was at the parish hall and since the parish happened to be my parish(minutes away) I felt I guess I should go. Plus it was supposed to only last a couple of hours. Turns out the event was at a hall not near the church, it was the "Magnificat Breakfast" and I had to be there from 8am to 1pm!!
Since I had already volunteered I was stuck, I was too proud to say "no way" afterwards since I didn't want to look bad!!
Anyway I went there not knownig what to expect, I set up my booth and was right beside the nicest lady ever. I'm bad with small talk really, I avoid it like the plague and I can literally stand there and be fine with not talking to anyone!! It's cause I'm ridiculously shy when it comes to meeting people, I have this complex that people don't really want to talk to me and that I may be forcing them so I don't bother...I know I'm screwed up in the head!!
Anyway the event was mainly ladies (obviously I know nothing of the Magnifcat church group) They were very charismatic and we prayed and sang and danced to church songs. It was a beautiful event! The doctor from our Center was there to give witness of how God had worked in her life!! It was amazing to hear her testimony and how God had come and gone in her life (well He was always there it was her opening and closing herself to Him) It was amazing! I feel truly blessed to have been dragged there. There have been many times where I have been forced and gone reluctantly to do certain church events only to find out that God knew that I needed to be there! It was not me giving up my time (or a day of sleeping in) but it was God giving me a wonderful gift, bringing me closer to Him.
Had I not thought it was only a couple of hours had it not been my parish hosting it I would have not been there.
God, You are truly merciful with me and I do not deserve it!!!
The Magnificat- Mary's song of praise - Luke 1:46-55
My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
My spirit rejoices in God my savior.
For he has looked upon his handmaid's lowliness;
behold, from now on will all ages call me blessed.
The Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name.
His mercy is from age to age to those who fear him.
He has shown might with his arm,
dispersed the arrogant of mind and heart.
He has thrown down the rulers from their thrones
but lifted up the lowly.
The hungry he has filled with good things;
the rich he has sent away empty.
He has helped Israel his servant, remembering his mercy,
According to his promise to our fathers,
to Abraham and to his descendants forever.
Turns out this event coincides with me laughing at the thought of surrendering my will. Mary surrendered and I needed to be reminded of her example to say YES to God even though she did not fully understand His plan and her continued YES throughout her life even though she suffered a great deal!
I haven't been praying the rosary as often because I drive to work now. I used to pray my rosary while taking public transportation but now since I drive I have no time. I think this is God and Mary calling me back to pray the Rosary again along with surrendering! Plus if I'm going to surrender my will I will need A LOT of prayers!
3 comments:
i'm glad that everything worked out in the end for you.
i love that you're saying the rosary on your way to work. i really should try that rather than listening to really loud music! then again, sometimes i need music to get my game face on for work!
I would always say the rosary on the way to work too.
Good luck surrendering, I am not so good at it either these days.
Have you gotten the surrendered wife book yet? It takes the guessing game out of trying to stop "controlling". It puts it in a form that is easy to recognize and easy to practice. It will BLOW your mind!!
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