I need to create. I must operate.
The ardent fervor inside does not settle,
need to burst the seams, tear and rip out, breathe the fresh air.
As it dissipates, all left is foolishness.
Trickery, abandonment, resentment.
Not right now, maybe later, sit still, wait.
It will go, it will leave.
Silence, you will hear it creep up once more,
don't delude yourself once more.
Distraction deceives you, and you fall again.
Circle cycle lays you down, brings you up.
Jump out, jump off be silent or sit back and feel.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Had my monthly breakdown today. Thank-God for my DH who tends to console me with the silliest things.
3 comments:
That was really beautiful, but I'm so sorry you had a breakdown.
Perhaps you could share with us your husband's tips for making you feel better. I'd LOVE to pass them along to mine. He always feels like there's nothing he can do!
You're in my prayers, and I hope you are feeling better.
hi eilyn. i found your blog through sew infertiles.
us infertiles are allowed to have many, many breakdowns. i'm glad that you've found an outlet for your frustrations.
:)
btw, i'm in the GTA too.
Hi JB :)
Thanks for posting. It really helps me to share my sufferings and struggles, and better yet, it is a blessing to have others there to listen and hear you out ;)
Hey AYWH,
Sometimes my H feels the same way as your H and sometimes he asks me if i would like chicken wings (i heart chicken wings), and although it's not going to solve anything, i see his offering, of picking up chicken wings on his way home from work, as an effort to try to make me feel better and this silly effort to make me happy consoles me and encourages me. It doesn't take the pain away but i'm reminded how he's there and that he acknowledges and is trying to understand my suffering.
Silly but it helps a bit.
Post a Comment