Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

Today God spoke to me directly through the morning prayers of my breviary (the Lauds). Last night I was struggling a lot with the past. This morning I woke up late and I knew if i said the morning prayers i would be late for work but deep inside me I felt this urge to say the morning prayer, I decided to be late for work.

To be completely honest with you, I'm a lazy person, it's rare for me to feel this urge to pray, especially in the morning right when I'm running around getting ready for work. My morning prayer usually consists of a quick Our Father & Hail Mary and it's usually done out of duty. However, yesterday evening I was really being deceived by the devil who was making me feel insecure and was stirring up inside me feelings i had decide to forget because i had had decided to forgive. For some reason or another i was dwelling in the past and i was getting angry and i was doubting the sincerity of an apology/ of some one's asking for my forgiveness. I was feeling horrible because i realized even though i had forgiven this individual, i was still hurting, i hadn't really forgiven with my heart. I then realized how important it is to forgive with my heart and even more so how hard it is to forgive from the heart. While doing the morning prayers i had to choose a random Gospel to read because i didn't have the gospel of today and guess what Gospel the Lord had chosen for me to hear this very day?

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

After reading the gospel I see that the Lord new I needed to hear His word today so that He can help me through this struggle I have with past mistakes and my lack of love, because in order to forgive with your heart you need to have love in your heart.

Do you see how the Lord has consoled me once more??!! My heart is hard, I can barely forgive, but He puts this urge in my heart to say the morning prayers so that I can see who I am, that I need to continue praying that I need to change my heart because I could very well end up like the unforgiving servant! How dare I ask God to forgive me when I can barely forgive the other and yet in spite of this He brings me a word of consolation this Gospel does not condemn me but it encourages me to be more forgiving because I have received forgiveness all my life from the Lord.