I heard about her but have never seen her or this video. Thought I'd share it.
I don't know how to post a video so it's just the link
Abortion Survivor Part I
Abortion Survivor Part II
Hearing her testimony has made me cry, it has made me think about helping children who have been abandoned. Unfortunately, my H isn't ready for that. I can't say that I am because I'm afraid, but I can't deny the fact that I feel something inside me, a need to kind of help, to do something for children who have been left to die. Who knows maybe it isn't adoption (yet) maybe i can do something else. Before this struggle with infertility I only thought about me, I never really paid attention to the world around me, to the sufferings of others around me, I have always worried about me. I honestly don't know how in this time of struggle I have even thought of someone else, for sure it is by the Grace of God.
On another note, I met the doctor who was supposed to do my lap surgery today. This appointment, I thought, was to figure a time or to talk about my lap, as it turns out however, he doesn't want to do a lap on me just yet. He wants to do an ultrasound to check to see if i have a cyst on my ovaries, if this is the case then he will do the lap, if the ultrasound doesn't show a cyst then he plans on just doing a "tubal cannulation" . The date is yet to be determined because he's a busy guy and so is the hospital and all the labs in TO apparently. :(
My previous obygyn before i started Napro had said i needed that same procedure done, i just never went back to him because i didn't trust him. So in my head now i'm thinking what if this is all i needed, i could have been prego by now, but my charts show my hormone dysfunction and i've learned a lot about my reproductive area about my menstruation cycle and all the signals my body is sending me in these past 9 months of charting, funny 9 months or maybe not so funny.
Oh well i have a headache. I'm back to D1 today, didn't breakdown or cry, but i knew this was coming didn't I? Or maybe I numbed myself this month!!! :) no no no I promised not to breakdown as i didn't have much hope for this month anyway.
I'm left to wonder now at what could have been but i have to remember that although this is a slower process that i am getting to the root of it all and that my goal isn't to just get prego but to stay prego till the end with final goal of delivering a baby.
I have faith I will have a child, I just won't have her or him tomorrow and not when i think my time is right but when God says so. I have to go now, my headache is getting worse and I have to go and pray for more patience as i've just hit the low mark (need to refill)
4 comments:
i understand how you feel. at my last doctor's visit i felt really dumb since my former doctor wanted to do surgery on my ovarian cysts right away. i'm pretty certain that if we stayed at the infertility clinic my endo would've been discovered over a year ago and i would've gotten pregnant already.
then again, i wouldn't have been able to live with myself since my old doctor was a creep and i felt guilty every time we pulled into the parking lot.
don't be too hard on yourself. this is the journey that we're supposed to be on. it's just so frustrating that we have to wait so long!
I love the abortion survivor! What a sweet soul. Ironically named Gianna? I sent it to everyone I know.
Sorry you keep getting set backs, but in the end, all for the glory of God!
Don't forget the added benefit of your treatment... even though it may be taking longer NOW, you should be able to conceive LATER children easily, too :)
I hope the u/s goes well. Keep us posted!
Amazing! My heart was filled with thanksgiving and joy listening to her story. I am so glad you shared this with us! Blessings to you!
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